41 Weeks 4 Days - "Failed" Membrane Sweep

Turns out I am only 50% effaced and a fingertip dilated. So, no sweep for me. She was able to stretch my cervix forward a bit (it is still posterior). I had a pretty intense cramp when she did that, so she held it for a minute til it stopped, but nothing exciting since than. I've had a couple semi-intense braxton hicks since I've come back to work, but not really much different than what I've been having for days. Little man is at -1 station, which I was pretty happy about. I don't think Nolan was ever that low.

Honestly, it is pretty much exactly what I expected. I did think that I would be more upset than I am about the lack of progress, but really - I am not. I am kind of at peace. It only helps to solidify my decision to keep rejecting the idea of an induction. An induction on an unfavourable cervix - 'fool me once' - I won't be fooled again.

It does take away my hope of him coming before 42 weeks though. I know it could happen quite literally ANY day and having faith in my body that it CAN do this gets harder as time passes. Everyday I wake up sad, that 'today' isn't the day. Than I take a deep breath, talk to baby, and I feel better.

We had a brief discussion about my care at 42+ weeks, since I am pretty sure that both hubby and I agree that we would like to wait little man out (at this point anyways, talk to me again as we hit 43 weeks LOL). Basically the NST/BPP would continue every 48-72 hours and as long as everything continues to look good, than we are still good to go for the homebirth. She was pretty clear that any indication during labor of anything not going well, we would be transferred immediately. She would of course come with. It alleviated a lot of anxiety I had. I kept thinking I was going to hit 42 weeks and she was just going to wash her hands of my homebirth. So, it is nice to know that assumming all stays well, we can continue as planned.

Of course any issues with little man changes the game-plan and hubby and I will revisit. I do *not* look forward to the cotinued harassment at the hospital. I know our decision to go over 42 weeks will not be accepted gracefully and already imagining lots of harassment. I can't decide whether I should continue to play nice or if I need to be more firm (i.e. rude) next time. We will see, I guess a lot of it depends upon how they choose to treat me next go around.

NST #1 @ 41weeks 2days

I didn't have the energy to update yesterday.... Basically I am just going to copy and paste what I posted in ICAN. There is more in the gaps that I didn't fill in, but thinking about it still angers/upsets me and I am really trying not to dwell on it.

"I had my NST/BPP at TGH today. Baby looked fantastic (passed both BEAUTIFULLY) but they were AWFUL. The moment I said I was a homebirth the nurse got cold and it was harassment from than on.


I was stuck on the NST machine for two hours, despite them coming in and telling me his heart tones looked fine after less than an hour. I finally took it off and refused to wear it any longer (of course they argued). It is only a 30ish minute test for goodness sake.


I spent an additional two hours repeatedly refusing a cervical check and telling the resident doctor, at least, three times that I did not want to be induced. All while she told me I was risking my babies life and was I SURE I understood the risks.


Finally got the BPP and waited another hour for the overseeing doctor to come in and tell me that I was trying to leave my son without a mother and trying to kill my baby. I had finally had enough and told her I wasn't there to ask for her approval on my decision to home birth. At that point she wrapped up her conversation with he's measuring big and probably won't come out vaginally anyway.


I am scheduled to go back on Wednesday and I am already stressed out about it. I was there for almost 7 hours today. SEVEN. I feel so..... de-humanized... I wasn't asking them to agree with my choice AND little man looked perfect... So why, why the harassment?!?!?! I don't know if I can emotionally handle this."

This where I will have to deliver if my homebirth doesn't work out or if I go beyond 42 weeks. They kept talking about how VBAC friendly they were, maybe that's true - if I totally and completely and only comply with what YOU want. Otherwise all I saw was a bunch of fear-mongering bullys.

I couldn't even get the energy up to contact the midwife and let her know how it went. I don't think I can go back on Wednesday, I just... don't know if I can handle it again. Yesterday had me so broken down by the time I got home, I was emotionally drained, I don't need that right now.

I'll be calling my midwife here shortly once I get a break at work and probably giving the OK to do the sweep. Don't know how we'll meet up today being that I work all day, but we'll see. I am hoping that I can convince her to push back having another NST til Friday.

Exciting news!!! I had some bloody show last night at about 8ish (er at least that is what I am pretty sure it was, it was CM/Mucous mixed with what was clearly blood). No contractions and no more since than so maybe it was just a one time fluke. Who knows.... It is about the only 'progress' I've had - so I'll take what I can at this point.

Anyway, nothing else interesting to report. Hopefully soon :-)

"41 Week Appointment"

....and yes, I am still pregnant!

MariAnne is back from her vacation, it was nice to see her again! It was a stressful appointment for me. As I enter the 'post date' range I get increasingly more anxious. Highlights:

*Lost another pound. Most definitely due to the insane sickness I experienced over the weekend. I was laid up, hardly able to eat, for over 2 days. It was awful.

*BP was elevated 138/84 - again I am a big ball of stress these days, so I am not surprised. My levels at home have been fairly consistent and generally are only elevated after a long work day.

*She did her own little quick NST, listened to babys heartbeat as he started moving, and it accelerated beautifully, so as long as he's not napping during our NST tomorrow - I know we will do just fine.

*Keytones in urine, as usual, but nothing else.

*My swelling is intense, its quite uncomfortable and takes more time to go down these days.

Beyond that we got everything together to start NSTs starting tomorrow. It is only an assumption, but it seems (to me) that MariAnne is a bit less comfortable with postdate pregnancies than I originally anticipated (which is OK by the way, everyone has their own comfort levels). I'll basically be doing an NST every other day (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) unless baby comes of course ;-)

MariAnne did offer to sweep my membranes this week, if I choose. So far the little conversation that William and I have had has us saying no, but we will see how I feel over the next few days.

I am worried about the NST, dealing with the OB situation. More specifically my blood pressure, but I can only do so much to control that.

Anyway.... 41 weeks!!

 

"40 Week Appointment"

My appointment went wonderfully! Key notes.

*MariAnne is officially on vacation so I got to visit with Charlie today, love her!

*Keytones and Leukocytes in my urine. Nothing unusual and just proves I am still fighting off this ridiculous head cold. ((NO PROTEIN))

*I lost a pound. Putting me at +2 for the pregnancy :-)

*BP was actually perfect 120/80 - crazy!
 
We talked a bit about my elevated readings that I had been getting at home. I had been so stressed out since my readings had hit that 140/90 "cap" that we've been trying to stay under. Charlie didn't seem overly concerned since in all reality it is merely points away from what is considered my 'normal' range. She made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. The basis of the conversation came down to as long as I don't have a blood pressure reading that spikes out of my norm (i.e. 160/100 or something crazy like that) than our home birth is still a go.

Have I mentioned I love the personalized treatment that I receive with both of them??? They really look at me and the reality of the situation. I am not pre-eclamptic - first of all!! We have managed my hypertension this far and the confidence that she/they have that we can continue to do so gives me the strength that I need!

Anyways - TODAY IS MY DUE DATE! Eeek!! So here is me at, today, at 40 weeks!!!

"39 Week Appointment" - 38weeks 5days

Today's appointment was mostly 'hum drum' so to speak.

*Gained a pound (woot!)

*BP was 130/80 - which is just beyond awesome!

*Keytones (yes, yes I know I should eat breakfast)

*Little mans heartbeat was great in the 140's - he was sleeping <3 p="">
*Swelling is a bit worse than what it has been and she wasn't all too happy about that. I've been extra busy and on my feet a lot this week. I plan on being soooper lazy on my 3 day weekend this weekend, so that'll help get things back on track :-)

One of the new birthing assistants is LeAnn (the other is Amy - super sweet) and she is actually the one who came and told her HBAC story at our birthing classes. I was quite excited to see her! Her story was inspirational and now she just might get to attend my birth - how cool is that!

MariAnne is going on vacation (well deserved) from the 17th - 23rd to visit her son in New York (call me jealous!) and is leaving Charlie in charge during that time frame. So if little man decides to show up during that span Charlie will be for sure deliverying. Good thing I think Charlie rocks so I am not worried about it in the least :-) Just need to make sure mom and hubs get Charlie's number in their phones as well so there is no confusion.

MariAnne suggested that, if we can afford it, that I make my chiropractor appointments weekly from here on out. Especially with all the other little 'signs' I've been having and my pelvic/hip pain. I am inclined to agree. I think keeping everything aligned is going to be really important to a succesful (hopefully short) labor and delivery.

So, now we continue the same thing we have been doing - waiting.
 

Newborn Cloth Diaper Update!

I officially got all the cloth diapers prepped and ready to go last weekend! It was so much fun playing around with newborn diapers (I might not be saying that a few weeks into him being here!). I only part time CD Nolan as an itty bitty because I never expected to give birth to such a small baby (being that he was only 6'12 at birth) and he stayed little for soooo long. This time I am prepared!!

What is better than itty bitty hanging diapers!?!?
So, freaking, cute!

The official stash shot!

Left Row - Newborn Swaddlebee Basix

Second Row - XS FB, Newborn Grovia, and Lil Joeys

Third/Fourth Row - Goodmama Newborn Fitteds

Fifth/Sixth Row - RnR (Rockin Rumps) Mini. Mostly A12, but a couple hybrids as well.

Back - Stack of Prefolds and 2 RaR Newborn covers


I can not wait to put them to use! I hope to be able to update (with pics) of which are my favorites and why. It is so hard to find newborn diaper reviews that are done by people who have used cloth before. I think the first go around you are still fumbling to learn how to use them effectively and I have a hard time  trusting reviews like that. So, maybe, I'll be able to help someone else at some point along the way!

"38 Week Appointment" - 37weeks 5days

--38 Week Appointment--

*Lost 3 pounds (whoops!)

*BP was 130/88 in the office. A little higher than what I've been getting at home. Usually bottom number is in the mid 80's. As long as we stay under 90 - we're good. Only a couple more weeks, just need to keep it behaving itself for a couple more weeks (my mantra)!

*Fundal height jumped to 39 this week. Midwife thinks he might have had a bit of a growth spurt! <3 p="">
*My iron draw showed that my iron was a bit low (which explains why I've been so tired). She suggested I pick up a liquid iron supplement and start taking it (doesn't that sound yummy?).

*Highlight of the appointment - I AM GBS NEGATIVE - WOOT! :-D

Nothing else interesting to report. No protein in my urine, keytones (as usual) were present, still swelling - right side worse than left.

We are 110% ready - homebirth wise - not a single item left on the list to get. I am getting quite excited for our impending homebirth. A part of me is still reserved in that I don't want to get too excited and than our plans change. I can't help it, my pessimistic side won't let that possibility go. It is just a small side though, the midwives have been extremely supportive and wonderful. They seem to have faith that I can do this and that my hypertension is just hypertension. I am just going to keep with my routine and hope that it keeps having that positive effect that it has been all along.