Monday, January 6, 2014

Newborn Cloth Diaper Review

Oakley was born at 9lbs 9oz and 22.5 inches. Not a little guy by any means. We still got lots of love out of our newborn diapers though. His cord fell off at 6 days so we didn't use the snap down nearly as much as I expected.

Grovia Newborn AIO
These fit right away, but sadly leaked. It was a combination of the legs being too loose and the fact that they just aren't all that absorbent. I think with a more chunky baby (as opposed to long like my guy) one might have better luck. They did fit for about six weeks though, but they were a last resort diaper only.

4 Weeks. I apparently didn't take any sooner than this!

 They just fit weird on the legs.

Lil Joeys AIO
We barely fit into these. He was on the widest snap from day one. These would probably fit a super tiny baby better than most. I found the inner gussets quite annoying for a couple of reasons. They left really deep indention marks on my Oakley and I found it nearly impossible to clean all the poop out of the gussets. At this point I am going to have to hand wash them before I sell them. That is frustrating. We also had a couple blow outs in them. They were fairly absorbent though and fit for maybe two weeks.

^^Less than a week >>>

 By 4 weeks we barely squeezed in them.

Fuzzibunz XS
Once the cord fell off these fit right away. They fit nicely around the legs and absorbed as much as you'd expect from a microfiber insert. Always a champ at holding in explosive poops. I am not a huge fan of PUL outer diapers, but these were probably the most reliable. At 9 weeks they still fit, with room to grow, but need extra stuffing if we were to use them out and about.

At 6 weeks, apparently these didn't gt much photo shot time, this is the only pic I have!

Rockin Rumps (RnR) Minis
Can not rave enough about this WAHM. Her diapers are consistent and always of the best quality. I fell in love with her one size diapers with my oldest and was nothing but thrilled with her minis as well.

We did not need the snap down rise and they fit right away. A little bit of rubbing did occur, but he was just too long for the snap down rise. A smaller baby likely wouldn't have this problem. She changed her inserts to a trifold insert (opposed to the snap in two layer insert). The trifold is an improvement on how absorbent they are.

We still, at 9 weeks, can fit into them. The wovens are too tight, but the knits still work quite well. I add a booster to the older style snap in ones and we are good out and about. Never a blow out or leak with these! I had mostly A12, but also 3 of her hybrids which I absolutely adored. They were so absorbent! 

Woven, not even 2 weeks old! 

Woven, not even 4 weeks old!

Woven, right at 6-7 weeks old!

Hybrid, not even 1 week old!

 Hybrid, right at 3 weeks old!



 Hybrid, jut barely fitting, at almost 8 weeks old!

Swaddlebee Simplex AIO

We had quite a few of these and I'm happy we did! They fit right away and we are still using them now at 9 weeks. They snapped under the cord great and we actually used them as our go to night diapers. They did blow out twice, but never leaked. He didn't generally poop at night so that worked out ok!

They are an AIO but have a pocket to add extra absorbency too. Super convenient for night time. We'll be rocking these for a couple more weeks I think.

Only a few days old!!

About 5 weeks!

 9 Weeks!! 
The rise is getting short, but still working just fine :)

Goodmama Fitteds (and one hybrid)

These fit from day one. Fit great under the cord and didn't cause any rubbing at all. These were our go to diapers at home. They are absorbent and cute, the whole package! The only down side to these is you will experience a number of size variations.

Somewhere around 4 weeks they started to lack what we needed in absorbency. It was about the same time we started fitting in the one size Goodmama really well. At about 6 weeks the wovens didn't have a high enough rise. At that point only a few of the bigger but knits fit well. We officially retired them at 8 weeks.

The one hybrid I had I could rave all day about. The hybrids have a naturally bigger cut and come with a tiny good.square! It solves both the rise and absorbency issue we have with the fitteds. I would highly recommend these for mama's with bigger babies and heavy wetters.


Hybrid vs Fitted

Only a few days old!
2ish week old! 

 ^^^4 Weeks!^^^

6 weeks, this is a larger fitting knit!

6 weeks, woven, and seeing butt crack! LOL!

Hybrid, 5-6 weeks, you can see the size difference!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Story Of My "Failed" HBAC

October 30th and 31st
                At 41 weeks 4 days, I decided to try to do a sweep to get things moving. A visit to MariAnne’s office showed that I was not dilated enough to do so. I was a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced, baby at station -1. I was not too surprised; tons of people have no signs of progression before labor starts! The next day, 41 weeks 5 days, was Halloween – I had been so worried I wouldn’t be able to go with Nolan and yet here I was, still pregnant! During the work day I’d been having contractions, some painful, most mild, off and on all day. Things picked up as the evening progressed and I had regular contractions, about every 6-9 minutes, all night.
November 1st
                I slept pretty well, hoping to wake up to some major contractions in the wee hours of the morning. Friday morning they were still present, but had not increased in frequency, so I thought that going for the NST/BPP to be on the safe side, just in case this wasn’t ‘real’. As soon as I walked into the hospital, my contractions stopped. The contractions that had been going for a whole day, stopped just from walking into the hospital – it is amazing how the mind works!
                We spent most of the day at the hospital. The NST was perfect, but the BPP showed low fluid. The staff was extremely harsh and pushy. They wanted to induce and they wanted to do it NOW. I couldn’t do it, I knew my body was getting things started and it just needed a little more time. So, I signed out AMA and went home. A call to MariAnne and she assured me that hydration would help and to relax and let the adrenaline from the visit go, she was sure it was stopping my contractions. By that evening they started coming back. They were roughly 10 minutes apart and needing me to focus on them at times. They continued through the night, disrupting my sleep a bit, but not in a major way.
November 2nd
                Things got real at about 5 a.m. I woke up to a pretty harsh contraction and they continued. I lost massive amounts of my plug during those first few hours. They ranged about 6ish minutes apart, lasting 30-40 seconds. Within 2 hours, they were 3 minutes apart, last 45-50 seconds, and I was moaning through most of them. MariAnne called at about 8:30 to check in and I gave her an update. Even with them being 3 minutes apart, the short frequency had me convinced there was no rush in her coming out. She said she would head my way at about 1:30, unless something picked up before then. I spent most of the day contracting by myself, hubs had running around to do and I was handling them by myself pretty well.
                By the time MariAnne got there they were pretty intense and having counter pressure felt fantastic. They stayed 2-3 minutes apart and lasting about a minute each for the remainder of the day. MariAnne arrived about 2:30 and I was 4/5cm dilated, 70% effaced, and Oakley was at 0 station. The contractions continued and there was not a position that I was comfortable in. I found the strongest contractions were present while sitting on the toilet. I tried to spend as many contractions there as I could handle. We rotated positions on the toilet, birthing ball, on all fours, etc. Nolan tried to comfort me during contractions; he would come up rub my belly and tell me – ‘it’ll be ok mommy’ over and over again, while rubbing my belly, during contractions.
                Around 5p.m. another check put me at 6cm and 90% effaced, Oakley still at 0 station. A problem presented itself when my blood pressure was hovering at 160/100. We talked with MariAnne and she suggested that getting in the tub might help bring down my blood pressure. They started filling the tub, which took some time. At about 6:00 I hopped in the tub, it felt amazing and best of all – my blood pressure came down! I continued to labor in the tub with contractions much easier to manage and they only slowed slightly to 4ish minutes apart on occasion. The decrease in blood pressure was only temporary and by 7:30 it was back up again. Another check within 30 minutes and it was still the same - 160/110.
                At that point MariAnne sat and talked with me about transferring. Oakley sounded good, but my high blood pressure readings had her worried. We talked for a bit and decided a transfer would be best. I got out of the tub and got ready to go while everyone else put bags together, cleaned up the tub, etc. At 8:45 my water broke, a relatively small gush, but noticeable none the less. It looked meconium stained, but initially we assumed it was more of my plug. The contractions got really intense after my water broke and were coming every 2 minutes. The hour+ ride to the hospital was much of a blur, I was in so much pain and unable to change positions made things even worse. I was crying through the contractions.
                We arrived at the hospital and walked to triage. Upon admittance my blood pressure was still elevated and they took urine and blood to check for pre-eclampsia. All was clear as I knew it would be. They did a quick check to ensure that Oakley was head down and sent me to L&D. I was still 6cm and 90% effaced at this point. I hung out on the birthing ball while everyone got settled in and MariAnne stayed and talked with me for a while. I had some more gushes of water that undeniably showed meconium in the water. My blood pressure stayed elevated, but since I obviously wasn’t pre-eclamptic they didn’t bother me too much about it. The doctor on call was not exactly VBAC supportive and kept claiming that Oakley wasn’t handling contractions well and that we should start considering a RCS. Granted he did have decels during contractions his recovery from them was within normal range. They pumped me full of fluids and his decels and my blood pressure both got better. I am guessing a bit of dehydration may have been a viable culprit. MariAnne left at about midnight and said she would check in the next day.
                The doctor, quite literally, harassed me all night. If she wasn’t coming in to see if I wanted a RCS, she was doing cervical checks with no regards to my contractions. My contractions slowed during the night, can’t even tell you the frequency because all I wanted to do was sleep and no one was letting me. She kept talking about my contractions slowing down and when I asked her if Pitocin was an option to pick them back up should they continue to peter out she told me that she would ‘never allow’ me to receive any induction medication, but if I wanted an epidural and RCS she would be happy to call the anesthesiologist. She was a peach, no doubt. Luckily the nurse I had, had two natural births of her own and was very encouraging. She came in as often as she could to help me through contractions while my husband tried to get some shut eye.
November 3rd
                Thankfully shift change came somewhere around 5-6. Our new doctor, Rankin, came in to tell me that I was the hot topic of the morning. He was quite encouraging and said that he was not ready to throw in the towel. I had managed to progress an additional cm during the night and was solidly 7cm and 90% effaced with Oakley still at 0 station. I talked with Rankin for a bit about my previous pregnancy/section and the reason for transfer and what course of action I wanted to take. I told him that I would prefer to avoid Pitocin and wanted to give my body a bit to see if the contractions picked up on their own. He was supportive, agreed, and left saying he would check back in.
                About 7:30 my contractions were still wildy inconsistent and sometimes, nonexistent. So we started Pitocin at about 8. Within minutes I started feeling contractions, some were mild, some were intense, and as they continued to increase the dosage the contractions got even more intense, longer, and closer together. By 11ish they were back to back longer and stronger than any of the contractions I had had previously. Oakley was handling the contractions ok, but it was important for me to stay on the monitors, his decels were starting to lag. A couple of cervical checks revealed no progress in dilation, effacement, or station. I was growing weary from the contractions, but was staying as optimistic as possible.
The contractions stayed 2minutes apart lasting a minute each from 11ish on. Most of those hours are a blur. At about 3-4 and showing no progress we regrouped and decided to try an epidural to see if relaxing would help things progress. The anesthesiologist was in surgery and unable to get there right away. She came in sometime around 5(?) to administer the epidural. She made my husband and mom leave the room while she did it which was quite upsetting for me. It took three tries for her to get the epidural in correctly. Once it was place I was able to feel contractions, but only that they were present, not the pain associated with them. I positioned myself in an upright position with my legs position Indian style to open my pelvis as wide as possible now that I was immobile.
The contractions continued and intensified, Oakley heart rate deceled, and the lags between it coming back up continued. A check about 2-2.5hours later showed no progress, no change in station. I had progressed 1cm in 24 hours. My water had been broken, with meconium in it for nearly 24hours, and my temperature was creeping up (though not high enough to call fever at that point). We had another chat with Rankin at that point and he left us to discuss our options. My husband, always supportive of my choices, even then, only said that he felt like we were – ‘just waiting for something to go wrong’. He was right. Independently these items were not significant, together, they were and that brought me to tears. I cried for a while and called for Rankin to tell him that we were going with the section.
I am not much of a negotiator, but I made demands as it was important this experience was different than Nolan’s. Due to the meconium they had a NICU team on standby for when he came out. They were to get him first and make sure that he hadn’t aspirated any meconium. I talked with the NICU team to ensure that my husband would be able to stay close and even to cut the cord, assuming all was well. I talked with the anesthesiologist to request that after baby was born that my hands be unstrapped so that I could hold my son. I talked with the nurses to ensure that he was not to leave our side, at all. Rankin, the surgeon, and I talked about being sure to use the same scar and to do another double stitch. They were wonderful and agreeable and didn’t fight me on anything.
On November 3rd, after roughly 36 hours of active labor, Oakley was born weighing 9lbs 9oz and 22.5inches long via RCS. He had the same markings his brother did at birth. An impressive cone head (sans hematoma thankfully) and bruises on either side of his head giving me the assumption that he was posterior as well. He was wedged in my pelvis and invoked some wiggling to get out. He received Apgar’s of 9 and 9 and did not aspirate any meconium. My placenta showed no signs of calcification and everything looked healthy. No one can ever say that he was in any danger by me going postdate, Rankin said so himself ;)
I, unfortunately, was far too shaky from the epidural to hold him. I still had them release my hands so that I could touch him while William snuggled him close by. Sewing me back up took longer than originally anticipated. Apparently from the previous section my bladder had adhered to my uterus, so they had a lot of scar tissue and adhesions to reconcile with. They even pumped my bladder full of sterile milk to be sure it was fully functioning - first time I've ever heard someone ask for milk in the OR - even some of the nurses were confused LOL 
William took Oakley to recovery so that they could check his blood sugar and wipe him down; he still had quite a bit of meconium on him. I was able to close my eyes for a bit, I could barely hold them open, likely due to the major blood pressure drop that I experienced from the epidural. Everything went as I requested, except for one issue. The bladder adhesion meant I only receive a single closure this time since they were worried about nicking my bladder while sewing me up. I don’t know what the future impact of that will be or if it will even matter since I have no idea if I will have more children.
I arrived in recovery about 30 minutes after they had taken Oakley back. Apparently his blood sugar was a little low (by a few points) and one of the nurses had tried to give him a bottle. Thankfully Oakley fought the nurse on taking it and my mom stopped her. A little less than an hour after birth we had our first nursing session, he latched on and nursed like an absolute champ. He was so alert! ((Also chewed out the nurse a bit, but that’s another topic altogether)) His blood sugar came right back up within minutes after we nursed. We stayed in recovery for an hour and almost got stuck there since apparently no one wanted to take me being that my blood pressure and pulse were still elevated. Eventually a number of calls to different doctors to confirm that my blood pressure and pulse had been elevated since admittance and was not a product of the surgery they allowed us into a regular room. 
The end result was this gorgeous little man that I would do it over and over and over again for. He is perfect and amazing. It will be a long time before I can reading someone else's birth story without crying. It'll be some time before I am not bitter about my utter inability to birth him the way nature intended and the sting of others who can does not pierce me so deeply. These are my petty, shameful truths, and I am working on owning them the best I can.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

41 Weeks 4 Days - "Failed" Membrane Sweep

Turns out I am only 50% effaced and a fingertip dilated. So, no sweep for me. She was able to stretch my cervix forward a bit (it is still posterior). I had a pretty intense cramp when she did that, so she held it for a minute til it stopped, but nothing exciting since than. I've had a couple semi-intense braxton hicks since I've come back to work, but not really much different than what I've been having for days. Little man is at -1 station, which I was pretty happy about. I don't think Nolan was ever that low.

Honestly, it is pretty much exactly what I expected. I did think that I would be more upset than I am about the lack of progress, but really - I am not. I am kind of at peace. It only helps to solidify my decision to keep rejecting the idea of an induction. An induction on an unfavourable cervix - 'fool me once' - I won't be fooled again.

It does take away my hope of him coming before 42 weeks though. I know it could happen quite literally ANY day and having faith in my body that it CAN do this gets harder as time passes. Everyday I wake up sad, that 'today' isn't the day. Than I take a deep breath, talk to baby, and I feel better.

We had a brief discussion about my care at 42+ weeks, since I am pretty sure that both hubby and I agree that we would like to wait little man out (at this point anyways, talk to me again as we hit 43 weeks LOL). Basically the NST/BPP would continue every 48-72 hours and as long as everything continues to look good, than we are still good to go for the homebirth. She was pretty clear that any indication during labor of anything not going well, we would be transferred immediately. She would of course come with. It alleviated a lot of anxiety I had. I kept thinking I was going to hit 42 weeks and she was just going to wash her hands of my homebirth. So, it is nice to know that assumming all stays well, we can continue as planned.

Of course any issues with little man changes the game-plan and hubby and I will revisit. I do *not* look forward to the cotinued harassment at the hospital. I know our decision to go over 42 weeks will not be accepted gracefully and already imagining lots of harassment. I can't decide whether I should continue to play nice or if I need to be more firm (i.e. rude) next time. We will see, I guess a lot of it depends upon how they choose to treat me next go around.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

NST #1 @ 41weeks 2days

I didn't have the energy to update yesterday.... Basically I am just going to copy and paste what I posted in ICAN. There is more in the gaps that I didn't fill in, but thinking about it still angers/upsets me and I am really trying not to dwell on it.

"I had my NST/BPP at TGH today. Baby looked fantastic (passed both BEAUTIFULLY) but they were AWFUL. The moment I said I was a homebirth the nurse got cold and it was harassment from than on.

I was stuck on the NST machine for two hours, despite them coming in and telling me his heart tones looked fine after less than an hour. I finally took it off and refused to wear it any longer (of course they argued). It is only a 30ish minute test for goodness sake.

I spent an additional two hours repeatedly refusing a cervical check and telling the resident doctor, at least, three times that I did not want to be induced. All while she told me I was risking my babies life and was I SURE I understood the risks.

Finally got the BPP and waited another hour for the overseeing doctor to come in and tell me that I was trying to leave my son without a mother and trying to kill my baby. I had finally had enough and told her I wasn't there to ask for her approval on my decision to home birth. At that point she wrapped up her conversation with he's measuring big and probably won't come out vaginally anyway.

I am scheduled to go back on Wednesday and I am already stressed out about it. I was there for almost 7 hours today. SEVEN. I feel so..... de-humanized... I wasn't asking them to agree with my choice AND little man looked perfect... So why, why the harassment?!?!?! I don't know if I can emotionally handle this."

This where I will have to deliver if my homebirth doesn't work out or if I go beyond 42 weeks. They kept talking about how VBAC friendly they were, maybe that's true - if I totally and completely and only comply with what YOU want. Otherwise all I saw was a bunch of fear-mongering bullys.

I couldn't even get the energy up to contact the midwife and let her know how it went. I don't think I can go back on Wednesday, I just... don't know if I can handle it again. Yesterday had me so broken down by the time I got home, I was emotionally drained, I don't need that right now.

I'll be calling my midwife here shortly once I get a break at work and probably giving the OK to do the sweep. Don't know how we'll meet up today being that I work all day, but we'll see. I am hoping that I can convince her to push back having another NST til Friday.

Exciting news!!! I had some bloody show last night at about 8ish (er at least that is what I am pretty sure it was, it was CM/Mucous mixed with what was clearly blood). No contractions and no more since than so maybe it was just a one time fluke. Who knows.... It is about the only 'progress' I've had - so I'll take what I can at this point.

Anyway, nothing else interesting to report. Hopefully soon :-)