Wednesday, August 19, 2015

From Unhealthy..... To Healthy Part Two: The Curveball

My "oh shit" moment was a couple months behind me at this point. I still hadn't made any realistic changes in my life. I had a mile long list of excuses, I was very good at making excuses.

On Nolan's 2nd birthday we got an unexpected, scary, "oh shit" surprise!

Everything changed. All of a sudden the reality of my body, the weight that I was at was weighing heavily (no pun intended) on my mind. It wasn't healthy to carry a pregnancy at that weight. Especially with the issues I'd had with my previous pregnancy (swelling and high blood pressure mostly). I was so upset with myself, I couldn't even articulate it at the time.

The first trimester proved to be, as any mother can attest, survival mode at best. After that hurdle was over I began being more conscious of what I ate and made an effort to go for a walk every day. Exercising daily proved difficult between work, school, a toddler, and the general exhaustion that pregnancy brings but I dedicated myself and made it happen.

Since it is not suggested to diet or begin any new work out routines while pregnant I kept my changes mild and did not stress it too much. After all, this was about being healthy, not losing weight.

This "little" guy showed up at nearly 43 weeks weighing a healthy 9lbs 9oz. I had managed to only gain 2-3 pounds during the entire pregnancy and found my exit from the hospital already under my pre-pregnancy weight. If I remember correctly I weighed in around 210lbs at that time. Healthy choices during my pregnancy resulted in a quick 15lb loss - can't beat it!

As newborns tend to do, mine was quite attached to nursing for some time. Nursing results me needing to eat everything in sight and I was very sensitive to doing anything that might hinder my milk supply. I did my best to make healthy choices, I tried not to eat out, I drank tons of water, and I nursed my baby. I kept to this routine til Oakley was about 7 months old. At that time I weighed in somewhere around 190lbs. It is amazing what some small changes can do. I'd lost 35lbs and hadn't really 'done' anything of significance.

7 months post partum, 35 pounds under my pre pregnancy weight, and I was ready to get serious. I was ready to follow up on those feelings I had during my "oh shit" moment.

Friday, August 7, 2015

From Unhealthy.... To Healthy Part One: The 'Oh Shit' Moment

A lovely friend(s) suggested that I Blog about my journey. I struggle to articulate where I've come from and how I've gotten here when I'm asked by well meaning people in my life. I am self conscious about this new body that I've found myself in and it is not something that is easily explained, either.

Here I am today... In short, nearly 100pounds lighter and a million times healthier....

I won't attempt to speak for every heavy person out there, but there have been a number that I've spoken with who have experienced this same moment. The reality of years of 'abuse' to ones body. You spend so much time avoiding the truth. You might acknowledge that you've gained a 'little' weight. That maybe you aren't as healthy as you 'should' be, but you don't truly 'know'.

Than that day comes.... Maybe it is a glance in the mirror, maybe the way your stomach folds when you sit in a chair, or the way your arm jiggles as you reach into the pantry for that satisfying snack. Whatever it may be, this, is that 'oh shit' moment

My moment came in Christmas of 2012. A quick family photo at my Grandfather's. In front of the family Christmas Tree that we've always done. Looking at these photos. Myself, my husband, and my oldest - Nolan. A beautiful family photo, it should have been, but that is not what I saw.

What I saw was rolls, rolls, and flab. That couldn't be me? Could it?

Sadly, it was. I made arbitrary promises than. That I'd start changing my diet. After the new year. After school was out. ((sound familiar))

Here it is, my 'oh shit' moment. All 225 pounds of me.

This, friends, is Part One.