Wednesday, October 30, 2013

41 Weeks 4 Days - "Failed" Membrane Sweep

Turns out I am only 50% effaced and a fingertip dilated. So, no sweep for me. She was able to stretch my cervix forward a bit (it is still posterior). I had a pretty intense cramp when she did that, so she held it for a minute til it stopped, but nothing exciting since than. I've had a couple semi-intense braxton hicks since I've come back to work, but not really much different than what I've been having for days. Little man is at -1 station, which I was pretty happy about. I don't think Nolan was ever that low.

Honestly, it is pretty much exactly what I expected. I did think that I would be more upset than I am about the lack of progress, but really - I am not. I am kind of at peace. It only helps to solidify my decision to keep rejecting the idea of an induction. An induction on an unfavourable cervix - 'fool me once' - I won't be fooled again.

It does take away my hope of him coming before 42 weeks though. I know it could happen quite literally ANY day and having faith in my body that it CAN do this gets harder as time passes. Everyday I wake up sad, that 'today' isn't the day. Than I take a deep breath, talk to baby, and I feel better.

We had a brief discussion about my care at 42+ weeks, since I am pretty sure that both hubby and I agree that we would like to wait little man out (at this point anyways, talk to me again as we hit 43 weeks LOL). Basically the NST/BPP would continue every 48-72 hours and as long as everything continues to look good, than we are still good to go for the homebirth. She was pretty clear that any indication during labor of anything not going well, we would be transferred immediately. She would of course come with. It alleviated a lot of anxiety I had. I kept thinking I was going to hit 42 weeks and she was just going to wash her hands of my homebirth. So, it is nice to know that assumming all stays well, we can continue as planned.

Of course any issues with little man changes the game-plan and hubby and I will revisit. I do *not* look forward to the cotinued harassment at the hospital. I know our decision to go over 42 weeks will not be accepted gracefully and already imagining lots of harassment. I can't decide whether I should continue to play nice or if I need to be more firm (i.e. rude) next time. We will see, I guess a lot of it depends upon how they choose to treat me next go around.

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