Saturday, October 8, 2011

I still can't believe

I have been a Mommy for 8months as of today! I never thought I would be here. From the time I was 14 and was told by my O.B. at the time that the solution to my not having periods was to go on birth control, which made little to no sense to me. This prompted me to do my own research and what I discovered was that I have classic (severe) case of PCOS. I knew what that meant, fertility drugs were the only way I was going to be able to have a child. We are not a rich couple, we live paycheck to paycheck and fertility meds were nowhere in our near future. I resigned myself to believing that we would probably never have children, I never wanted to start my family late in life which is when we would probably have the money to do fertility meds.
I went through 4 O.B.'s trying to find one that was willing to actually listen to me. When I discovered my current O.B. he was so receptive of what I had to say! After running some blood and discussing my symptoms with me he came to the same conclusion. I was never "officially" diagnosed with PCOS, because he didn't want to damage the chances of being able to bill the Insurance company for some of the testing he was doing =P What was even more exciting is he was open to trying Clomid with me!! Since he was not a specialist in fertility his hands were tied in many ways, but he agreed to do some cycles on it with me.
Cycle after cycle was a failure, the first 2 didn't even get me to Ovulate at all. By the time that we reached our last cycle I had given up hope. I was never going to be able to give DH a child and I was going to have to come to terms with that. We started discussing adoption through the Foster Care system, which is something I have always wanted to do. As our last cycle ended and my temperature on my chart dropped, I gave up and started planning my "Christina's Infertile, Let's Get Drunk Weekend". Next thing I know, my temperature jumped back up, I tested and low and behold there was 2 lines! Yes 2! I always imagined that if we got a positive I would come up with some cute way to tell DH and even had it all planned in my head. When it happened though, all I could do was go "Um, is that a line?? I think I'm seeing things??" Not exactly sweet or memorable, but I really though I was loosing my mind!! DH saw the line, but was unconvinced. I stopped on my way to work and picked up some First Response. I took one almost immediately after going in and it was positive too! I couldn't believe it! Now, 17 months later I have this gorgeous little boy who I just can't get enough of. He amazes me everyday and I do not want to miss a thing! I love him so much, never imagined that this level of love existed.
Happy 8 Months Nolan Fredrick!

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